hello, 2026!

Song of the week (my top song of 2025):

When I started this blog, my hopes were that it could give me a much-needed outlet to share parts of myself, my writings, and my musings in a creative way. 2025 has been a whirlwind of a year for me, feeling like a decade all in one, and when you have a year like that, sometimes things get dismissed or deprioritized along the way. Fortunately for this blog and for my readers, 2026 is a year in which I focus on myself and the things I love and make me happy, which means focusing more time on writing. I can devote more time to this website which is my baby, and to make the $25 I spend a month to keep it up and running worth it. Most importantly, I get to reflect and share my 2025, and look forward to what this whole new year will bring.

What’s gonna make 2026 so different than 2025, you might ask? I’d like to think it’s because I’m starting it off right. Even now, as I write this on New Year’s Eve, I’m not getting drunk at a party with people I don’t really want to talk to, and I don’t have “someone special” I’m spending it with. I’m on my friend Mena’s couch watching the Andy and Anderson CNN 9 pm coverage of the East Coast ball drop because I’m thinking of my home back in Boston. I’m spending time focusing on myself. I’m writing this because writing makes me feel good.

I’m feeling pretty grateful because even though it has been a hell of a year, I’m still extremely happy in my life right now. I’m honestly the happiest that I might have ever been! Although I guess it’s not a very hard thing to do, because I’m someone who can find joy in even the most mundane of tasks. Nothing sounds better than the feeling of hot water running down the back of my head in a hot shower, or the smell of a nice candle, or a nice day at a museum. However, despite being happy with my life, something still feels off.

You know that unfinished jigsaw puzzle that’s been sitting on your dining table because you’re missing a piece? Lately, I feel like I’ve just been searching everywhere for it. Under the furniture and in between the couch cushions, hoping it’s somewhere along with some spare change. I’m a little lost, and the worst part is that I don’t even know what’s on the face of that last puzzle piece. What is it that’s actually missing from the puzzle?

For a while now, I’ve been struggling with feeling happy in my school life. Lacking ambition and drive, my school life has been looking pretty lackluster. I want to finish school to get my degree and get an amazing job, but to do what? There’s no end goal in sight that makes me want to get up and go to classes. Nothing motivates me to want to do well, even though I’m definitely capable of doing so if I tried. I want to be happy and successful in my future career, but recently I’ve felt like my happiness depends on my success, and that’s not a value that I’d like to hold. My happiness and mental health come first. I figured I might as well kill the birds of my school and my happiness problems with one stone.

Soo, I quit school. For now.

I’m taking the semester off, and I’m now working full-time in retail. No classes for credit to worry about. Just one for pure enjoyment, and the rest of my free hours are now dedicated to the things that I already know bring me enjoyment. More rock climbing, more songwriting, more movie watching, more going out, and more of being me.

I have some ideas of what my next move is, although I’ve always been a fan of not letting poeple know. I want to suprise people, in a good way. I’m thinking of applying to other colleges as an English major. I’ve always loved writing and I’ve been good at it so maybe I should pursue it more. Who knows? I sure won’t if I don’t try.

I’m scared because I don’t know what comes next. I have some ideas of what my next move is, although I’ve always been a fan of not letting poeple know. I want to suprise people, in a good way. I’m thinking of applying to other colleges as an English major. I’ve always loved writing and I’ve been good at it so maybe I should pursue it more. Who knows? I sure won’t if I don’t try.

Hopefully, this time for myself helps me figure it out. I don’t expect to have my whole life planned out in just a few short months, and neither do I want to. I’m just hoping I manage to find a good balance between having no ambitions and and having a Marty Supreme moment, where I’m blinded by them. BTW, if you haven’t seen the movie, I think you really should.

Wherever you are this New Year’s, I hope you have a good one. Make that vision board, and have that glass of champagne or Martinelli’s sparkling apple cider. Make that toast for all your New Year’s wishes.

Cheers to #adulting, to being financially independent and paying my own rent, learning to budget, and keep myself alive. Cheers to taking my meds on time and enjoying every moment of living. Cheers to being brave and doing scary things because I can and should. Cheers to hoping that I save enough money to do at least one solo trip to another country this next year. Cheers to finding myself.

Feat. Mena and I’s New Year’s Eve homemade hotpot

Cheers to 2026.

xoxo,

gaby!